03 January 2014

The 23 Debate

Have you read the article "23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You're 23" ? It outlines things women should do instead of being focused on getting engaged. I know a lot of other bloggers have taken offense to it or agree with it, but I believe I'm more in the middle. 

I understand where the author of the original article is coming from. I think that a lot of young women grow up thinking they'll either marry their high school sweetheart or their college sweetheart. We have this mental plan of how our life might go, and sometimes it doesn't always work out like that. This list could encourage young women to think of other opportunities for themselves. The author does judge harshly those who do decide to get married. 

On the opposite side, I understand why those who decide to get married early in life would be offended. Some people find their soul mates early on in life, or there are outstanding circumstances such as significant others being in the military or terminal illness. To judge people without hearing their story is harsh. There are plenty of marriages that last a lifetime. I would be offended by that also if I had married early. 

My personal opinion? Everyone is different! I am definitely guilty of judging those in my class who have been married since graduation. I realized it was more my own fear, like there is no way I could handle this right now. I also realize I am in a long distance relationship so thinking of marriage right now is a little scary. Not because of the person I'm with but because we are so far apart sometimes distance wise. 

Everyone is ready for a relationship at different times. I have learned that everyone is ready for different steps at different times. I also think that marriage is something you have to be pretty confident about, and that includes in yourself and your partner. It might depend on if you want to settle down as a young adult also! I know a lot of people who just want to be by themselves at our age which I totally respect and understand.  

I think this decision is an individual couple's responsibility and society should respect that. Each person is different, and if you are still a wanderer at 23 be a wanderer at 23. If you've found the love of your life, be with the love of your life in anyway you two decide. If you are still looking for the love of your life,  look but also do things for you! 

Do what's best for you, regardless of judgement. 



  1. I totally agree with this, I've seen that article and while I am extremely independent and have always wanted to live by myself, however I've found myself in a 3 year long relationship in college (and didn't expect to....). My boyfriend wants to look for jobs places that I want to live but I've already told him I'm putting my career first right now. While we're not going to break up, were not going to settle into a life we don't want just to be together. If it works out and I'm married young then so be it, and if not then that's fine too. The way I see it if it was meant to be it will, however I'm not sacrificing my goals and I think that's what the author of the article was saying (while being kind of harsh). I personally get irritated at the girls that are EXPECTING to be married by 23 without even having a boyfriend or any significant other...it's a recipe for disaster!

    Also love your blog! It's super cute! :)


    1. I definitely try not to judge others, and I guess you could call me a relationship person, not a dater! So I feel like there is always a middle road. But my guy and I are definitely focusing on our careers!
      Thank you so much!

    2. I'm in the same boat, Courtney, with the whole relationship-putting career first-settling down type situation.

      I'm incredibly independent, always have been, and can't even dream of being married before I turn at least 28 (I often say 30, haha)! my personal philosophy is getting married before you're 25 is like leaving a party before 9 pm. Again, that it totally just me and I respect other people's opinions and the fact that they are different from mine.

      I guess my whole thing against getting married so young is perhaps because I'm about to watch my little sister get married this year. She won't even be 21. She dropped out of college (she was a 4.0 student in the nursing program) to plan her wedding. Her and her fiancé have no money saved. Umm...what? How is getting married even logical at this point in their young lives? Call me crazy but I want to have an established career and steady income before I even think about tying my life to another's!

      Anyways, sorry for the rant, haha! I love a good opinionated discussion!! In the end, I definitely agree that we all gotta do what's best for ourselves and we can't judge another (at least until we know their story ;p)


    3. I love opinionated discussions too! (Once a debater, always a debater) Thanks for commenting! I've definitely been like what are you doing with your life?

      xoxo :)